Today I wanted to get personal with you guys. I know that some of you may be dealing with this and I want to help. I am an anorexic survivor. The first step to any problem is admitting it. Let's start from the beginning.
As a kid I was always quite chubby. I couldn't be active thought due to being in a wheelchair. My weight never bothered me until I was 11. I was happy and just loving life. I started noticing that all my friends were so skinny and could wear cute clothes. I wanted to look like them. Then it happened, I was called fat. This totally devastated me. I had to do something! So I woke up one morning thinking if food makes you fat then not eating must make you skinny. Logical right?
You have to remember that I was only 11 so I didn't even know eating disorders existed. I started off by just skipping breakfast. My parents worked full time so they never knew. After a few months I realized I had lost a little weight. It wasn't enough though so by summer I cut out lunch as well. It took over my entire mind! I became obsessed! I was SO hungry but it was working! People were noticing and say how good I looked! My mom just assumed it was puberty until I decided I needed to be even skinnier. Every night we ate dinner as a family so I had to take control but go unnoticed. First I'd only eat half my plate and then a fourth until finally I would only eat 4-5 bites. My mom would bribe and beg me to eat with ice cream, candy, and cake.
I'm not going to say my weight but I was slowly killing myself. I was weak and tired all the time. Finally my mom told me that if I kept going down this path I would die. That's when it hit me. I realized I wasn't being my true self. I had let this obsession control me. I started drinking Ensure shakes and slowly got my appetite back. I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle daily with my weight. You are never actually cured. I still have thoughts about keeping my weight low. I have learned to ignore them. I just tell myself that I don't need to please others. I am who I am.
If any of you are going through this know I'm here for you. If you want talk privately you can email me or leave a comment.
Yesterday a disagreement happened between me and a person who I thought knew me pretty well. I consider them to be a friend. I've defended her, stood up for her, and been nothing but nice. Now I feel betrayed. I won't go into full detail but I've learned a major lesson. What lesson? Being the bigger person.
First off, no matter what the situation, there is a certain way to approach me. You have to ease into it otherwise I am automatically defensive. This is exactly what happened. I freaked out! I'm not a fighter but when I get mad words just fly out. I don't stop and think. I may have said a few things that offended and upset her. I immediately wanted to call my mom because I knew she'd be in my corner. Then I thought I'm 25 not 12 so I should probably handle it myself.
After being alone for a few minutes I cooled down. I did apologize but she didn't seem to accept it. I'm only human. Of course I'm going to make mistakes and say things I don't mean. It feels refreshing to be mature. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you just need to be the bigger person. I know it's hard but I know you can do it.
We are already a week into the new year. Let's be real, most of us have either broken our resolutions or haven't even started. I saw this quote on Instagram the other day and new I must post about it. Nobody knows how much time we have left on Earth. We all have a list of things we want to do before we die. So why wait? Life is too short for excuses. I'll be 26 this summer and I want to accomplish as much as I can! I have a mission for all of you. Everyday day do something you love. Don't keep putting it off. If you want to run a marathon then start training now. If you want to backpack through Europe then book the flight. No more excuses! Trust me you won't regret it. Now is your time! Tell me what you want to do!
Happy Friday! It's challenge week again! This week I wanted to do a Disney theme. I've been a HUGE Disney fan for many years. If you do this challenge let me know because I really wanna know your answers. Let's get into it!
1: Your favorite character
This is really hard! I'd have to choose Rapunzel from Tangled. She is voiced by Mandy Moore who is my favorite actress. Plus her personality is a lot like mine. She pretty positive considering she has been locked in a tower her whole life!
2: Your favorite princess
I love Pocahontas! As a kid I wanted to be her SO bad! I would even climb in a Willow tree. I also had pretty much every piece of merchandise made.
3: Your favorite heroine
Mulan is definitely my heroine. She proved that woman can fight just as well as men. She risked her life for her father. That is honorable.
4: Your favorite prince
I'm gonna have to say Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Even though he kept Belle trapped, you can tell he still cared about her. Plus he was actually really sweet.
5: Your favorite hero
Hercules! I was OBSESSED with this movie when it came out. He can fight everything, what more do you need?
6: Your favorite animal
I love elephants so I'm gonna say Dumbo. My grandma babysat us growing up and didn't have any modern Disney movies. I watched this movie a lot and I think that's why I developed a love for elephants.
7: Your favorite sidekick
Does Olaf count? I mean who doesn't love a snowman? He is just SO adorable! He's sweet too. I wish he could follow me around.
8: Your favorite villain
Does anybody really have a favorite villain? I'd have to go with Scar from The Lion King. Only because Simba gets revenge on him at the end.
9: Your favorite original character (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, etc.)
I had my entire room decorated in original characters as a kid. I love Minnie! I even dressed up as her when I was like 5 for Halloween.
10: Your favorite song
It would have to be Do You Wanna Build A Snowman? from Frozen. I just can't get enough! I play it a lot!
11: Your favorite love song
This is SO hard! I'm going to go with I Won't Say I'm In Love from Hercules. It's such a cute song and I feel like people forget it.
12: Your favorite villain song
Mother Knows Best from Tangled. It's so creepy but still catchy. Plus I feel bad for Rapunzel afterward.
13: Your least favorite song
I'm not sure if this counts but I hate It's A Small World. I went on the ride when I was 3 and really traumatized me. I still can't listen to it.
14: Your favorite kiss
The boat scene on the lake in The Little Mermaid. Technically they don't actually kiss but it's so romantic. I'm not even a fan of that movie.
15: The first movie you saw
I'm not sure but the first movie I saw in theaters was Toy Story. My cousin and I were convinced we were the only kids in the whole world that saw it.
16: Your favorite classic
I've always loved Mary Poppins especially after I saw Saving Mr Banks. It's just such a great story. I also love The Jungle Book.
17: Your least favorite classic
I don't like Sleeping Beauty. I get so bored every time I watch. I need more excitement.
18: Your favorite Pixar film
This is really hard! I'm going to say Toy Story. It was my entire childhood. I still watch it now at 25.
19: Your least favorite Pixar film
I didn't really like Planes. They should have just stayed with Cars.
20: Favorite sequel
Obviously the Toy Story series. The 3rd made me cry a lot. It was like the end of my childhood.
21: An overrated movie
The Little Mermaid for sure. Maybe it's because I'm not a fan. I don't see what is so great about it.
22: An underrated movie
Definitely Wall E. This movie is SO adorable! The message is really great too.
23: A movie that makes you laugh
My go to Disney movie is Tangled. It's got adventure, romance, and it's funny. What more do you need?
24: A movie that makes you cry
All Disney movies make me cry! I cried the most during Frozen. I was emotional the whole time!
25: Your favorite scene from your favorite movie
I loved when Mulan reaches the arrow at the top of the pole. It made her respected and I loved rooting for her.
26: Saddest death
Definitely when Mufasa died. Mostly because Simba witnessed the whole thing. It was heartbreaking!
27: Your favorite quote
You control your destiny you don’t need magic to do it. And there are no magical shortcuts to solving your problems from Brave.
28: Your favorite theme park
Well I've only been to Disney World in Florida. So that's my favorite.
Happy Monday! I'm actually happy that it's a new week. It's supposed to be in the 60's this week which is a HUGE deal if you live in Nebraska. Over the weekend I was scrolling through Tumblr to avoid homework as I usually do. I came across a picture that inspired this post.
I love this quote! It is so true if you actually think about it. I've always loved to travel. I just enjoy the adventure of it. When I was younger I'd road trip with my older sister every summer. We have so many fun memories from that. Now we are official adults and life has just gotten in the way. Lately all I can think about is going on an actual vacation to somewhere I've never been. My cousin and I decided to save up money now so next summer we can just do it. We are undecided on where we are going but at least we have committed. I encourage all of you to go and travel. Become a storyteller and create memories.
